29/04/2020

1    Doctor: "I've got bad news - you've got cancer and Alzheimer's"
Patient: "Well, at least I don't have cancer"

2    A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. The doc answers, "That’s easy - you're not eating properly."

3    Doctor: "Your bill is more per hour then I get paid."
Car Mechanic: "Yeah, but you see, doc, you’ve always got the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every year."

4    A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet -- I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking. Why can't you?" The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a prescription, and handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put down."